Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The supper keeper....

Dear Sir,

It is after much deliberation and with a heavy heart I have decided to resign my post as CEO with your company. After serving diligently for 21 years in my current position I find myself ill-equipped to handle the new challenges that I face daily. I am sorry I can not give you two weeks notice, but since I do not ever plan on working in this specific field again, you can see that I will not need to use you as a reference.

If we were to be honest with each other, we both knew this time was coming. The benefits package that comes with this job is lacking to say the least. When I first started with the company the benefits were acceptable, a few gooey-finger hugs, random "I love you Mommy"s, and tissue paper hearts on Valentine's Day. Those are the days I cherish and miss the most. However today, I can pass our subordinates in the halls of our office complex and not a word is said to me and if there is something said it usually revolves around dinner: "What's for supper?" or "When is supper?" With all my experience I have been relagated to the Supper Keeper.

It was never said on the job but implied, that as I rose in experience my job would be easier. That simply is not the case. My job is tougher now than ever and the rate of pay is the same, the benefits package has been reduced and the retirement plan (I recently learned) is nonexistant. I am thinking that President Obama needs to step in at this point to recitify the situation, but I am not going to hold my breath.
I am sorry to leave you in the lurch like this but maybe once you walk a mile in my shoes you will understand better. I am done arguing with our inexperienced subordinates, I am tired of the eye-roll manuever that I thought we sent a memo out about abolishing it, I have no more strength to go behind the janitorial crew and make sure they are doing their jobs, which most of the time they are not and I am so over making sure that the subordinates are wearing the proper uniforms.

I think after all these years I need to have some fun for a change. I am only going to take a few things from my office: my books, the puppies and yes, I am kidnapping our CFO, Mr.Ohtobe. I am leaving the rest of my belongings and educational items behind for the next sucker person that takes this thankless job. By the time you will have read this letter, we will be here:

Your former CEO,

Mrs. O


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