Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Remember when I said.....

that I really tried hard to behave but little things just *pop* into my head and I just know for sure that I am going to burn in hell forever...???


Like a lot of folks my age and older but not younger it seems, I read my hometown obituaries online. I don't know why I do this but I have been able to touch base with a few people from my past. I guess I am just making sure that I'm not in there. But the thing that gets me is just obituaries in general.

A few weeks ago there was a person who was in their late 90's and they died 'suddenly' at home. Surrounded by their family. Now since we are born dying and they lived 90-something years I wouldn't say they died suddenly. Looks to me like they took their sweet time. But it wasn't like this person was out rock climbing or anything. At least not to my knowledge. I suppose it just shouldn't come as a surprise when folks that are approaching the triple-digits die.

Then there was an obit that described the person as 'liking to feed her family' or something of that nature. They didn't say she was a great chef or home cook. She liked feeding her family. Doesn't everyone? I suppose not and I can attest to not liking the people in my family taking the last package of cocoa mix on a super cold night when I wanted some....maybe they will say in my obit that I didn't like my family drinking.

Another thing that really bugs me is when they mention survivors. Joe Schmoe was survived by his wife of 58.3 years. That kinda thing. Unless they were in some sort of accident I really don't see how she survived him. Outlived? Sure. Survived? Not so much. Because really - when someone you love dies, survival is what you are currently doing to get through the hell of death. More times than not you won't succumb to death yourself during this phase. Ergo - you didn't really survive the decedent or survive death.

To dovetail (a shout out to Papa) on that idea: why are some survivors listed as 'loving' and some not. If you aren't listed as 'loving' does that mean you love less than those who do mention that X person was loving. Or very loving? In today's obits we have a man who died and was "predeceased by his wife". I sorta view that in the same way the car lots try to sell you a pre-owned car and not a used one. What would be next?

Mrs. Ohtobe suddenly passed on. She leaves her loving husband Ohtobe who is undeceased and their five children who are in various states of loving-ness and undeceasation.

Say that one five times fast: un-decea-sa-tion. Go on. I'll wait.

You also have to wonder about those people who have reallllly long obits. Did they write them in advance - listing every accomplishment they ever had? Or in trying to cling to your lost loved one are we 'survivors' guilty of padding obits?

Mrs. Oh, when not nourishing her children with carb-laden products, took ballet lessons until she was 8 and it helped her not one bit in her pre-ungracefulness period that would follow her the rest of her days. At 9, she lost her first front tooth and we won't mention what happened when she turned 10. But at 11, she twisted her ankle once playing softball. Well not really playing softball but running to get the softball and tripping over it. Klutz. At 12, she contemplated ballet again after twisting her ankle a few more times.....

I can just imagine what is going to be said about me in the end. Maybe writing your own obit is a good idea after all! Maybe I should pre-plan a blog obit just in case something happens to me and you guy (s) (sic) wonder where I am. Any who - I prolly will just let whomever un-pre-deceases me write it. I'm sure I'll enjoy the read while on the great freight elevator down stairs.



I have been working on my own obituary and i assure you I will incorporate your tips. I only just realised you did a whole year and 3 million posts - wow!!

Awwww - just don't go 'suddenly' on us!

When i take a dirt nap, i'm pretty sure "lovingly" won't be in the obit anywhere. "Suddenly" maybe, but not "lovingly".

Or you just might be suddenly loved. ;)

I prefer 'endured' to survived!


see, now this is why I'm not going to be allowed to speak at your funeral, because I probably would just print this post out and start quoting your personal 'obit'.

That does it! I'm writing my own!

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