This inscription is in the only book (other than school books) my Mom ever bought me. She gave it to me on my first birthday after Frodo was born. The book is called Momilies and it is one of my most treasured possessions. I have posted a few Momilies here before without an explanation of what Momilies are. A momily is defined as sermons/advice from your mother.

I am not quite sure how I twisted momilies to mean the crazy things my kids say, but that is what momily means in this house. It means, opps, you just said something stupid insane and Mom is getting her little book out to write it down for blackmail posterity.

Here are a few samples and to save global embarrassment, I won't mention who said what but I will award 3 brownie points if you can guess correctly who did say what.

The spawn of mine thought:

That Betsy Ross wrote the Babysitter Club books.

That Muhammid Ali was the lead singer for Matchbox 20.

That George Washington crossed the mighty Mississippi River.*

That Christopher Columbus sailed over on the Mayflower.*

That the piligrims came over on the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.*

That Patrick Graham Bell invented the telephone.

That Thomas Edison is on the nickel.*

When asked to name the two Roosevelt presidents, the response was Teddy and Theodore.

That the Great Wall of China is located in England.

That Mickey Mantle is the guy who invented Disney World.

They have no idea what the 'F' in JFK stands for and think he was shot in San Fransisco. Probably while riding a street car after eatting Rice-a-Roni.

4 out of the 5 can't name all the Great Lakes and a few didn't even know what they were. Or where they are located.

That the Suez canal is pronounce the Suzy canal. And this spawn is studying Spanish.

One of the spawn voted this year and then had no idea who was elected Vice President, even though he/she voted for him.

*And they still give these same wrong answers.

Now in defense of the spawn, 3 actually graduated high school, with honors. And have scholarships and are all in college. The 2 remaining spawn are on-again, off-again honor roll students. 1 of those 2 spawn scored so high on their standardize tests that I now have proof he/she is a genuis, a lazy genuis by the looks of his/her last report card.

Why I am telling you about all of this? Consider it advice. Keep a record. It comes in handy. Especially when your little spawn pulls the "I'm 18, I know what I'm doing" card.

Oh yeah?

Who's on the nickel?

Case closed.