I hate to harp. Ok. Who am I kidding. Look up harp in a dictionary and there is a picture of me. I said harp. Not harpy. I really am trying to behave. Really. I swear. Apparently I can't help myself. I blame Boo Radley.

See?

But I digress....yeah I blog-digress a lot too.

I went down to the Publix Wednesday night because they had a ton of great buy one/get one deals this week and I had matching coupons. Score! I loaded up my cart and I actually took a picture of it but I cannot get it to download from my phone but take my word for it: the cart was overloaded. I bought 18 boxes of cereal. I did mention I had coupons right?

Canned vegetables were also on sale and I bought 10-12 of each flavor. My cart was embarrassingly filled. I felt like Michelle Duggar shopping. I kept saying to myself "I have 5 kids....I have 5 kids."

Then I saw one of the quiet homeless guys that hangs out around where I work. The guy I have been known to share my bags of chips with. I felt gluttonous. I saw him and did a quick reverse. I didn't want him to see me. My gluttony and his need.

Because it was the last day of the ad, Publix was out of a few items on my list and again I had coupons for the items. I planned on getting a rain check but upon checking out I could not get out of that store fast enough.

I placed my items on the conveyor belt. Other shoppers went to get behind me, saw my stash and decided to go to a different line. When done, I pushed my cart through and went to swipe my debit card when the bag girl asked me if I was sending all of this to Haiti.

"God - I suck as a human being," I thought to myself.

"No, I have 5 kids."

She replied that a lady had been in earlier and bought about the same amount of canned goods as I did and she was sending them to Haiti.

Great. I really suck. Big time. Of course, being me, I explain it away. I donated to the Haiti plight. I also donate weekly to United Way and they are helping the Haitians. I don't have a plane to buy can goods to send over....I haven't heard of anyone local accepting food donations to send over....I have 5 kids!

And I cried the whole way home.

I suck.

Totally.

While they are still pulling people from the rubbled ruins in Haiti my cabinets are overstuffed with Cocoa Rice Krispies, Brownie Mixes and enough vegetables to feed...well...a third world country. My spawn are all happy and safe in their beds tonight. I don't have to worry about them. Don't think for a second that I haven't been singing praises to God for all of my blessings and I have begged for him to intercede on behalf of all of those in need and to comfort all of those who have lost someone.

On a side note it reminded me of a post Jana over at The Meanest Mom wrote about The Needy. I highly suggest you go read it. Go on.

~ame

on Friday, January 22, 2010

Labels: Life