I love this picture of Kirk. Love, love, love it. We are still here. Getting by, day by day. Some times are worse than others of course.

It is hard watching someone you love grieve while grieving yourself. The grief washes over Tobey and I can't do a thing about it. I can't make this go away for him or us or anyone that I love.

So what do I do to compensate? I break out in some freaky stress rash. All over my face, neck, arms and back. I know it is stress because yesterday - after two days of this stuff - when it finally started to clear up, Tobey became overwrought and then next thing you know I am rashing out again. What I don't get is this: I didn't rash out when Mom was sick. I didn't break out when she died. I didn't break out when I did her hair for her funeral. You would think that if this was going to happen it would have happened then.

I chalk it up to being helpless. And I don't like being or feeling helpless. Honestly, I have NO idea how we are going to make it through Saturday's memorial service.

I was also put in charge of making the memorial slideshow. That has kept me busy to the point I didn't bother going to bed on Tuesday. I also haven't bothered to eat much. It seems that is just the way I roll when struggling with this kinda of stuff. Anywho. I finished up the show late last night and I love it. It has a little something for everyone. A little joy. A little sadness. Some Steppenwolf. And dare I say: a little Mmmbop. I know, I know. But really it fits perfectly. The lyrics are fitting and cute and in my opinion it finishes the show up on a high note.



Tobey was of little help when picking out the music. He said I should use what I would want for my service. I told him that I didn't think the family would appreciate Pink's Let's get this party started. I am fairly certain Hanson won't make it in the final cut - but still.



So here are the songs I used for the show and where I put them. Let me know what you think.



Opening scenes: Simon & Garfunkle's Homeward Bound.

Childhood scenes: Steppenwolf's Born to Be Wild which was Tobey's sisters idea. And the Byrd's Turn, Turn, Turn.

Teen years: Brother Iz's version of Somewhere over the rainbow. So haunting.

Wedding scenes: Randy Travis's Forever and Ever, Amen which was his wife's request.

Photographs and Memories scene: Jim Croce's Photographs and Memories. And then it closes with Hanson.

"You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?"

MMmmmmmbop!

~ame

on Thursday, March 04, 2010

Labels: Life