Tuesday, January 24, 2012

You would think I would learn....

Anytime and I mean anytime I say, "Oh, I did that - it wasn't all that bad." The next time. Bam. All that bad and more.

So I found this lump a few weeks ago.

I scheduled my overdue Papshmir (name that movie) and went in to get my lump checked out and my pap shmired. The NP didn't find my lump which is good and said despite my hysterectomy that it could be a hormonal thing due to the fact that my ovaries actually still work. At least something still works. She advised I get my mammo and we will go forth from there.

I had already scheduled my mammogram and didn't give it much thought after that since the NP couldn't find my mystery lump. I told Tobey I never understood all the whoo-ha regarding mammos. I chalked it up to having what Roseanne called 'long' boobs and assumed smaller ta-tas probably would hurt when squished. Mine? I could swing em around like I was some bush woman from National Geographic and it wouldn't bother me in the least bit.

I get to my appointment and put on the dressing gown. Only it wasn't a gown. It was a shawl. Er. My naked boobs don't do the shawl very well. Anyways. Oh. Em. Gee. Apparently their machine was not made for someone approaching six feet in height so I had to contort in and out and duck and bob this way and that.

Righty was first. No problem. Squish and we're done. I could see on the digital read out the amount of pressure exerted on her. 5.7 lbs. So I am jazzed. This is easy peasy. I flop ole lefty up and contort and then squish. 17.8 lbs. I fully expected my nipple to pop off and richochet around the room.

And then I get home. Craft night and Pie and Em are over and Em works at my gyno's office. I regal my nipple popping story and she asked where I went to get the scan done. "Susan Cheek" I replied. She then informs me that Susan Cheek is strictly diagnostic so there must be something there if that is where I was sent. "Best in the Bay," she says.

You can imagine my freak out at this point.

I relayed to Em that I made the appointment at Susan Cheek prior to my gyno appointment and that I randomly picked some place close to home instead of the place I used to go to. Which is near the JoAnn Fabrics. Yeah. I pick my doctors and diagnostic places based upon their location to craft stores. Isn't that the way you do it too?

"How did you find us?" "Oh, you are near JoAnn's!"

Em and Pie and apparently all their Moms work in health care and after a few phone calls and a few Google searches Pie informs me that yes, Susan Cheek is now for all mammograms not just diagnostic.

So in celebration of my mammorgrammerie - I came home and made a german pancake topped with cinnamon apples and raisins. Yummmmm - it almost made me forget that I was a human pancake a half hour before.



I hope everything is okay! And yes, as a smaller busted woman, those things hurt worse than anything EVER. I wanted to punch the technician in her perky head.

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