Thursday, February 12, 2009

Veterans and the snooty French

As you may or may not know, Barbie works at our veterinarian’s office. It is her goal to get her degree and become a vet tech and then go on to vet school. Which would be great because if she is a vet we get free pet care and that means we can get more puppies. Yay! Now we just need the other two in college to become a doctor and a mechanic and we are set for life.

I digressed: there are only a few small hitches in Barbie's plan. About this time last year Barbie did some free minor rhinoplasty on Baby Girl. Now Baby has a split cruddy looking nose because while Wii bowling Barbie smacked her in the nose with her Wii bowling ball controller, ergo the free nose job. And you thought nose jobs were just for the rich and famous. Oh no my friends, your dog too can look mahvelous.

In November I had taken Max to Petsmart to get groomed. I brush him several times a week and was surprised when they called me:

Grooming Chica: Mrs O, Max is pretty matted and instead of cutting him with a number 3 blade we are going to have to use a number 2. You really won’t be able to tell the difference.

Mrs. O: Hmmmm, ok, sounds fine with me.

When I picked him up from the hair butchers Petsmart I about started crying. My fluffy little Bichon was shaved bald headed. Bald. To make matters worse, Ohtobe prefers him bald instead of fluffy. It might have to do with when Max is bald he matches Ohtobe but I could be wrong. Not. I had planned on sending out Christmas cards with a family picture in it and now there was no way I could send out a picture that included Telly Savalas Max. So I have waited months for his hair to grow back and it finally has done so.

Barbie asks if she can take Max to work and they will bathe him and clip his nails for free. Normally anything free I would be all over but recalling the rhinoplasty I did have my doubts but decided to say yes anyhow.

I got home from work to find this:

A fluffy little ball of Bichon love filled with puppy kisses. Can you tell how much I love that dog? He looked so Bichon-like that I think even he was sporting an attitude. Even his bark was in French. But upon closer inspection I found this:

That is his tail. Or what remains of the hair upon it and this is NOT a good picture as he has about 2 inches of bald phallic-like tail showing! Come to find out when Barbie was dremeling Max’s nails he kept wagging his tail because he is a good boy like that and opps his tail got caught in the dremel. I wonder how you say ‘ouch’ in French?

I suppose the writing was on the wall years ago and I just failed to heed its warning. Several years ago while driving and Barbie was sitting in the front seat we came to a stop light. The car in front of us had a bumper sticker that read “If you like your freedom thank a vet.” Barbie read the sticker out loud and scrunched up her little angelic face while thinking and then proclaimed, “Oh, thank a veterinarian!” I should have known better, I really should have.



Well, I have to say that most of the family thinks that Max is really cute with short hair.
Exhibit A:

I do like max with shorter hair...when he is that fluffy you can't even see his eyes. though this blog is hilarious and love how you added the story about the bumper sticker. Oh good times. You can't really tell that he has hair missing unless you really look and his tail is wagging most of the time so I think it should be fine. And really you don't need more dogs. Unless you get a big one ;). lol.

I found a yellow lab this weekend for only $895, your Dad wouldn't let me him her!

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