I sat there with Tobey
We sat there us two
And I said, “How I wish
There was something to do.”

So off to the Sam’s
He went for a cut
And I gave him a coupon
Just to save a buck

Bored and alone
Left to my own devices
I went to the Steinmart
For I was in crisis.

The week had been horrid

so much had gone wrong

I needed some therapy

It had to be strong

Shopping was called for

since Freud was long dead

I was armed with my credit card

and I crawled out of bed.

Oh, the sales
That they had
There were sales galore
For you see
They are having to close
That old store.

There was nothing I needed
nor anything I wanted
But things were on clearance
So I scoured the store

I walked the whole floor plan
Looked at this
Looked at that
And then I spied her
On a rack near the hats

I saw the price tag
And was taken aback
Then noticed did I
The additional 30% off
On the top of the rack

I snatched that purse up
And held her close to my heart
As I dialed my true love
For cunning I art

I told him my find
And that he should be so proud
That I put her back down
And I walked around

I told him the deal

And how I wasn't even tempted
I clutched that purse tighter

And silently prayed to my Jesus.

Then he exclaimed

his obvious pride in my ability

to just walk away.

I advised my true love
Those weren’t quite the words
I was longing to hear

and was not why

I had made the call

For I wanted him to squeal,
“Grab that thing up
What a bargain

What a steal

Don't you know how much Coach goes for

down at the mall?”

And being so true
He did just that
He said if I wanted it to
Snatch it up fast.

I clutched her tighter
As I hung up the phone
And giggled all the way up
To the front of the store

And as I checked out
From behind me I heard
“Is that a Coach bag?”
“Why yes!”

I answered, as I cackled with glee
For it was the only one
In the entire store you see.

My purchase was rung
At the regular price
And then the 30% off
Was discounted, nice!

And as we get to the end
Of our story
There is more
So much more

An additional 25% off
All accessories in the store!

~ame