Thursday, August 19, 2010

Blame it on P-Dub

It is all Pioneer Woman's fault today.

Ree is holding one of her popular photography assignments and after a day or so of contemplation - I entered it. Why the day or so of contemplation you ask? Because of the theme. Love.

When I first read that the theme was love, my mind automatically searched my pictures for one that I thought would be fitting and in about a nanosecond I came up with this one:




Mom & Dad - June 2005


And when I uploaded that picture this morning to P-Dub's Photography Flickr group I realized that....that was the last picture I took of Mom. The.Last.One. And damn it all but it threw me into a funk the rest of today. And now that I am finally home, I can write this post and cry if I want to. So I am. So there.

The Entire Crew & Mom - June 2005

I had to check my blog to see if I have ever posted any of these pictures before and I did post one with my brothers and Mom. But these pictures...I love them and hate them all at the same time and I have pretty much viewed them as too personal to blog about. Yeah, I know - for someone to whom nothing is sacred I am sure you are surprised I have been holding out on y'all.

But I have. I love these pictures because it was the first time in ages the entire family was together. I hate these pictures because of the circumstances that finally brought us all together. And I hate how sick Mom looked. Of course at the time I never noticed how frail she had become. While it was a fast progression from healthy to near death - it was something I viewed during the process and looking back now.....I kick myself for not noticing.


And now that I realize all of the above I find myself focusing on those pictures where Mom was so sick. To be honest: those pictures haunt me. Why couldn't I see it then? Why do I see it now? Anywho - - those pictures above may be of my family and my Mom....but that really isn't her. But this one sure is. And this is how I am going to try to remember her for the rest of the day.

Damn Pioneer Woman.

~ame

2 comments:

Beautiful. Beautiful pics. Beautiful words. Beautiful Mom.

And yes, that Pioneer Woman knows how to pull on the heart strings, doesn't she?

I have photos of Mum that we took in the hospital and at the time Mum just looked like herself. But now looking at them I think, "Oh my goodness" how sick Mum looked.

It is the simplest of things that can send us into a funk isnt it. Love and hugs from me xoxoxoxoxox

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home